WARNING: Extremely self indulgent, self pity filled ramblings follow. But it seems like an important moment for me so I'm writing it down.
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Back when I started this fitness journey, my friends and I made fun of the fitness freaks who were always limping or sore. Always recovering from or on the verge of some type of injury. Why did they put up with that? Why not just scale it back, have a few more margaritas, and live pain free?
Back then I also believed that 12 minute miles were beyond my grasp, I'd never place in my age group and NEVER be so crazy as to enter an Ironman.
It's my own fault. Aerobics class in a cute outfit has never been my thing. Nor working out on the Nautilus machines in air conditioned comfort. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it's certainly not my style.
So I set sail on a strange voyage that has brought me here. I did win my age group in a 5K. Twice. Not the Athena division. 30-34 and 35-39 womens age groups. Finished an Ironman. Have the potential to qualify for the Boston Marathon. Funny how things change. I've spent years building a new body, a new relationship with food, and new expectations. Goals have expanded beyond finishing to pushing the limits. But, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. Maybe I do understand those fitness freaks who accept a certain level of discomfort in order to boldly go...
But there is discomfort and there is true injury. True injury SUCKS and I have spent the last year training diligently AND doing CrossFit so I would never have to walk that road again.
Only, I do. And I'm mad about it. Feel betrayed in fact. Lots of time and money, wasted, IMO. Nothing so terrible as the Orange Blossom Half marathon fiasco but it's back. Similar hip muscle issues, other side. Tried to work through it. So much for HTFU....could take months. I have so much planned for this summer. Big dreams. I've worked SO HARD. It's not fair. Not fair.
And so my long journey has brought me to this crossroads. I can quit and leave all this behind me. So many people wonder why I put up with all this work. Why not just scale it back, have a few more margaritas, and live pain free?
Why indeed. Because I took the red pill. There's no stopping me now.
4 comments:
Crossroads. A setback. Whatever you want to call it, it's just a momentary pause. today, I read about a guy planning to do an HIM, found out he had an aggressive form of cancer about 2 weeks out. Next week, he will do his first sprint in a year. You know you have to keep going. Can't back off. Take another look at the picture on the far right of your top banner. You know why.
Bah! Stupid injury! That sucks! But as you said you took the red pill so there's no going back now! Hang in there and I can't wait to see you qualify for Boston next year!
Yeah, injuries suck.
Glad you'll work your rehab intelligently and as your body allows.
You are also infectious. I could have easily quit after my bicycle crash two years ago but how could I when I watched you accomplish great things. I'm still at the "let's just finish this thing" stage, but I can feel a leap to the next level coming on. But I never would have without your encouragement. Yep - it sure is a lot of work, but worthwhile things often are. Thanks, Linae. :-)
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