Wow. A week has passed since my last entry. It's not because I don't think about the bloggers out here, it's because of school. I won't bore you other than to say I've been busy taking care of all things dissertation. Making a 2 week schedule should have calmed me down but it hasn't. It forced me to justify any second spent away from my dissertation. Balance is tough. I take some time for me but I feel guilty doing it. The schedule is so very tight.
My workouts have sucked. Only 2 runs last week if you count the bra malfunction with an 800 yd swim and one short trainer workout. The lack of workouts has me on edge. My mood sucks but any time spent away from the dissertation makes me anxious. But I'm anxious when working on it because the work isn't progressing according to plan. Heck, I'm just a stressball. The key is to be a happy, balanced, stressball. :)
The blogs I follow have been rather busy. IMFL bloggers sound ready to explode from taper madness, others are making big life/career changes. Good luck to all of you. I wish there were more time to leave comments but there is not. Know that I am keeping up, at least once a week.
Take care!
Monday, October 23, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Zipper Issues
After fighting the siren pillow for 40 minutes, I finally made it out for a run. Today was going to be a first: to run "topless", only a running bra & shorts.
Good thing I changed my mind.
5 minutes into the run, the zipper down the front of the bra comes apart. Completely apart. Yikes. Thank goodness for that t-shirt, however, my run was cut short as my running bras are just as important as my running shoes. The ladies need support.
Take this as a warning ladies. No more front zipper bras for me even if they look really cute and are on sale.
Good thing I changed my mind.
5 minutes into the run, the zipper down the front of the bra comes apart. Completely apart. Yikes. Thank goodness for that t-shirt, however, my run was cut short as my running bras are just as important as my running shoes. The ladies need support.
Take this as a warning ladies. No more front zipper bras for me even if they look really cute and are on sale.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Patterns
Maybe this is a sign of old age but I'm starting to see patterns in my life. The big ones are:
1) Goals must "scare" me to motivate me. The sense of "I don't know if I can really pull this off" keeps me on track. Thus the years of endurance races, signing up for a PhD, etc.
2) Avoidance is my enemy. You could call it procrastination but it really amounts to filling my life with a million other things so that I'm SO BUSY I can justify avoiding unpleasantness. The extreme frustration surrounding my dissertation would be the most important example but I do it all the time.
Why does this matter? Completing my dissertation is a goal that scares me AND is unpleasant. Time is running out. God has blessed me with the opportunity to attack it full time and I'm f-ing it up by filling my life with distractions. I'm accepting every invitation to dinner in the evenings, volunteering at races, blah, blah. Here I go again, filling my life with crap to avoid....what? Conflict with advisors. Hard work that often is thrown away for no reason. Fear of failing myself.
So...the time has come once again to refocus my life. What is different this time? The self destructive pattern is clear. It's time to turn off the History Repeat switch. It's time to develop a thriving creative environment that is nurtured by carefully chosen outside activities. I've got self awareness on my side. I. can. do. this.
p.s. This is not a "good bye for now" post because that decision has never helped in the past. Part of the old pattern. This time it's about balance and self awareness. I'm on it.
1) Goals must "scare" me to motivate me. The sense of "I don't know if I can really pull this off" keeps me on track. Thus the years of endurance races, signing up for a PhD, etc.
2) Avoidance is my enemy. You could call it procrastination but it really amounts to filling my life with a million other things so that I'm SO BUSY I can justify avoiding unpleasantness. The extreme frustration surrounding my dissertation would be the most important example but I do it all the time.
Why does this matter? Completing my dissertation is a goal that scares me AND is unpleasant. Time is running out. God has blessed me with the opportunity to attack it full time and I'm f-ing it up by filling my life with distractions. I'm accepting every invitation to dinner in the evenings, volunteering at races, blah, blah. Here I go again, filling my life with crap to avoid....what? Conflict with advisors. Hard work that often is thrown away for no reason. Fear of failing myself.
So...the time has come once again to refocus my life. What is different this time? The self destructive pattern is clear. It's time to turn off the History Repeat switch. It's time to develop a thriving creative environment that is nurtured by carefully chosen outside activities. I've got self awareness on my side. I. can. do. this.
p.s. This is not a "good bye for now" post because that decision has never helped in the past. Part of the old pattern. This time it's about balance and self awareness. I'm on it.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Saddle swap
The evil saddle was transferred on Friday. Saturday's ride felt fantastic. A ride that normally lasts 45 minutes took 40. Don't know exactly what that means in terms of speed but it's much faster.
Thank you for all the comment love on this issue. As you told me, triathlon can hurt enough without being rubbed the wrong way by your saddle.
Sunday I ran the Race for the Taste 10K at Disney World. This event is so much better than their other races. Abundant aid station support, a course that spends more time inside a park rather than an interstate, and cool schwag. Each person received a soft, insulated lunch bag/water bottle combo with the race logo on it. Very nice.
The race went well. It was kick back and enjoy time after a long season. No bunnies were sited but a few psycho squirrels and angry ducks. I spent most of the time commenting on people's shirts. One girl was competing in her first race. Great job, girl! Lots of fun. 1:04:02
That's all for now. A longer pontification is rolling around in my head but school is crazy. It's never not crazy. I just have severe episodes of denial. Not today.
Train safe.
Thank you for all the comment love on this issue. As you told me, triathlon can hurt enough without being rubbed the wrong way by your saddle.
Sunday I ran the Race for the Taste 10K at Disney World. This event is so much better than their other races. Abundant aid station support, a course that spends more time inside a park rather than an interstate, and cool schwag. Each person received a soft, insulated lunch bag/water bottle combo with the race logo on it. Very nice.
The race went well. It was kick back and enjoy time after a long season. No bunnies were sited but a few psycho squirrels and angry ducks. I spent most of the time commenting on people's shirts. One girl was competing in her first race. Great job, girl! Lots of fun. 1:04:02
That's all for now. A longer pontification is rolling around in my head but school is crazy. It's never not crazy. I just have severe episodes of denial. Not today.
Train safe.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Unspeakable places
I love the new little girl. She's awesome. Fast, smooth, responsive. The perfect vehicle for my IMFL journey.
But the saddle.
OMG.
Tuesday the chafing hurt so badly that I sat up for the last 20 minutes of the ride which requires me to steer with the elbow pads. That night the bike fit guy did everything he could to talk me out of changing the saddle. I told him he got one chance. If the chafing issue remained, I was swapping out the saddle for my tried and true Terry saddle.
You would have thought I slapped him. All his time and effort on a fit and I was just going to swap the saddle out by myself? Suck it up. Want to make me a cool kid who rides a normal saddle? Make it work. He agreed to tilt the saddle. I would cave for one more ride.
Today's ride? More unspeakable chafing. Like it "hurts to pee" kind of places. Maybe that's TMI. Sorry.
The Bontrager "women specific" saddle goes. Give me my Terry. This leaves Fujisawa with the nasty saddle for now but what else can I do. I'll add a new Terry saddle to my list of "bike gifts".
But the saddle.
OMG.
Tuesday the chafing hurt so badly that I sat up for the last 20 minutes of the ride which requires me to steer with the elbow pads. That night the bike fit guy did everything he could to talk me out of changing the saddle. I told him he got one chance. If the chafing issue remained, I was swapping out the saddle for my tried and true Terry saddle.
You would have thought I slapped him. All his time and effort on a fit and I was just going to swap the saddle out by myself? Suck it up. Want to make me a cool kid who rides a normal saddle? Make it work. He agreed to tilt the saddle. I would cave for one more ride.
Today's ride? More unspeakable chafing. Like it "hurts to pee" kind of places. Maybe that's TMI. Sorry.
The Bontrager "women specific" saddle goes. Give me my Terry. This leaves Fujisawa with the nasty saddle for now but what else can I do. I'll add a new Terry saddle to my list of "bike gifts".
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Declaration of Intent
Please welcome the newest member of TriFeist's family: the Trek Equinox 7 WSD 47cm. As exciting as she is to ride (imagine clipping into the entire frame, not just the pedals), buying her created extreme emotional turmoil. Why? Sweetest and I discussed the purchase at length. He was the one saying "you need a new bike, you need a new bike". Trek offers an incredible financing offer that makes it affordable to even poor graduate students. Why did I hesitate? Why?
Because, it's not about the bike. It's about what the bike represents. This bike has one purpose. She's not set up for group rides. She is not geared for climbing. She is all about fast, flat, and aerodynamic riding. Can you say it?
My internal committee has tried to talk sense into me. It's an ironman for heavens sake! It's 140.6 miles long. The training sucks away free time. My life is full of commitments right now. Who am I to think about such craziness? It just doesn't make sense. Drawing on the posts of others who have gone before, those who enact their dreams with purpose and courage, I offer to you, my declaration of intent:
I BELIEVE.
- that my husband's commitment to my training matches mine.
- that such an undertaking will only motivate other parts of my life.
- that I can survive ironman training, with our without a coach.
- that I can bear to toe the line on race day, knowing that ironman offers no finish line guarantee.
- that I. CAN. DO. THIS.
Trimama asked who is next?
I'm in.
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